Real life

Part 1 of 2:

Real Life: How Your Past Criminal Case Never Stops Being Used Against You as a Parent

This isn’t theory.

This isn’t speculation.

This is lived experience.

Once you have a criminal case in your past, the child welfare system never truly lets it go—even when the law does.

“You Did Everything They Asked”

Many of us were told the same thing:

• Complete probation.
• Finish treatment.
• Stay clean.
• Work.
• Stay out of trouble.
• Show stability.

We did all of it! Years passed with no new charges. No arrests. No harm to our children. We became the people the system said it wanted us to be—responsible, compliant, rehabilitated.

And then one day, a report was made.

• Sometimes it was anonymous.
• Sometimes it was false.
• Sometimes it was based on misunderstanding.
• But the moment CPS opened the file, our past was back on the table.

How Old Cases Are Reused in New CPS Investigations Even when a criminal case was:

• Dismissed
• Reduced
• Completed
• Vacated
• Non-violent
• Unrelated to parenting

It was still used to justify:

• Removal decisions
• Limited or supervised visitation
• Delays in reunification
• Assumptions about risk
• Doubts about credibility

Caseworkers didn’t ask, “Who are you now?” They asked, “What happened back then?” And once that narrative is introduced, everything you say and do is filtered through it.

When Proof Doesn’t Matter; We brought proof.

• Completion certificates.
• Clean drug tests.
• Stable housing.
• Employment.
• Therapy records.
• Parenting class certificates.

None of it erased the past.

• We were still described as “concerning.”
• Still labeled “high risk.”
• Still treated as if rehabilitation was temporary and relapse was inevitable.
• Even with no current evidence of danger.

The Moment You Realize the System Isn’t Neutral

For many of us, there is a moment when it becomes clear:

• The system is not starting fresh with each case.
• It is stacking history until it can justify control.
• We realized that once you are known to the system, you are never truly presumed fit again. You are forever proving yourself—while agencies are rarely required to prove their assumptions.

Parenting Under Permanent Surveillance

• Living with a past criminal case means parenting under a microscope.
• Every mistake is magnified.
• Every disagreement is documented.
• Every boundary is questioned.

And if a new case is opened—even without substantiation—the prior record becomes the backbone of the case.

Not because of present harm; But because it already exists.

The Cost to Children

• This doesn’t just punish parents.
• It destabilizes children.
• It fractures families who were already healing.
• It teaches kids that growth doesn’t matter—labels do.

Children are separated from parents who have shown up, changed, and stayed consistent—because the system refuses to let go of a past version of who that parent was.

Why We’re Speaking About This Publicly

• Because this happens quietly.
• Because it happens legally.
• Because it happens every day.

And because too many parents blame themselves—when the truth is, the system is designed to remember your worst moment forever.

• We are not asking for special treatment.
• We are asking for fair treatment.
• Judge us on who we are now.
• Require proof of present danger.
• Recognize rehabilitation as real.

Our children deserve nothing less.

Author: Alexis Landrum